My Back to the Bed Rails on Carpeted Floors

I've sat back to the bed rails on carpeted floors and cried, sobbed.  Questioning the missing answers and confusion- feeling as though no one else understands what has taken place.  I've learned this world is an unfair place and my heart is going to be broken by people and circumstances I wouldn't wish on anyone. 

I've sat back to the bed rail on carpeted floor and cried with my Dads arms holding me tight from since I can remember as a child to now when my world comes crashing in.  I've had the broken heart and doubts of how to move forward from loosing the one I tied my heart so tightly around.  I've cried tears over disappointments, failed hopes and losses. 

It's funny how what goes around comes back around. 

But this time it was different- hearts hurting but hearts that don't need to ever come untied tightly to the one we lost.  So there we sat, backs to the bed rails late one evening this week pondering the world before us and on those carpeted floors again we cried, missed, questioned and doubted.   What else could I do but what he had so faithfully done for me many times before, but throw arms around and cling tightly and say simple words I've heard many times- words of truth and honesty.  Words that send the enemy out, and invite in our ever present and good Jesus.  

But you see, back to the bed rails and on carpeted floors is so much more than hurt and tears like this week may have been or the past few months of our lives.  With back to the bed rail sitting on the floor and on the phone while living in Northeast Ohio my Dad explained how Jesus grace had found him and rescued him.  Ending religious games and false beliefs.  It's there on carpeted floors this world has been so perfect and whole- yet, also so broken and frail. 

There is nothing really better.  We trust the eternal.  We know that in hurt and fear our God has not forsaken us.  So we might sit on the floor again and again in sorrow but when we get up, we go out able to face more hurt, joy or whatever may come because this world is not final.  Jesus has the victory and always will.