A Note to All the Single Girls On Growing Up

Let's just talk about being a grown up for a moment.  Everyone always crabbed about it and told the horror stories and I just was in denial.  In denial about how ridiculous paying all your own bills would be and in complete denial about getting older and the level of responsibility you have to continually shovel out.  

Let's just take a moment to realize I am 20something. And the jokes on me. I ache more and run slower already.  So help me God I have not even had a child or reached 30.  Will I even be able to walk? (not being dramatic, I'm concerned). 

Most days I would tell you it's not too shabby.  And hear me loud and clear all you over analyzers and crazies, I love life and am thankful for everything I have.  Sometimes I am just on the struggle bus and cannot get off. 

Let's list a few of the top struggles:

1. Remembering all the dates bills are due.  Can the world just all come together in peace and unity agreeing on one date all bill payments are due? And don't even think "just do online bill pay".... I live in Kirkwood people, you have to hand deliver your power bill because exclusive city living has its own style of [are-you-joking-me].

2. Dating. Not even going there. Have you met me? You know the highlights and power to you ladies who are trying.  I'm just going to sit here and hold a memorial service in memory of you before you lost your mind and wanted to meet a man.  Blessings.  

3. The DMV.  I don't know if it was the automated check in system speaking spanish to me or the line out the ever-loving door at the DMV that made me seriously open up craigslist to see how much I could sell my car for, but then my iphone battery died. Standard.  Also, they charge you an extra $5 dollars if you're re-licensing is late.  Are we joking ourselves government workers of the world?  Maybe if you didn't take my extra $5 I could have spent it at Starbucks and would have got up earlier 2 weeks ago and been on time for this shindig.  And finally, they charge a $1 fee for paying with debit/ credit.  I don't even know what presidents (right, they're presidents??) are on the dollar bills anymore let alone carry cash.  

4. Yardwork.  I've never mowed a lawn in my life, thank Jesus for lots of brothers..... but I hear it's bad and horrific and how do you even keep the lines straight??  Whatever, I don't want to know about it.

5. Grocery shopping.  The man at Trader Joes literally asked me "You're getting more than chips, salsa and bananas today?"  I guess he was surprised I got pancake mix and chocolate chips too?? Enough said. 

6. Laundry.  Did you people know there are companies that will pick it up dirty, clean and iron it all just to deliver it back at your front door?? WORTH. THE. INVESTMENT.  (Note: Don't tell your Mom you do this.... she will be totally disappointed and ashamed that her female house wife talents didn't roll on down to the next generation. Sorry. #LoveYouMeanIt Mom!)

7. Junk Mail.  How do these people get my name, address, phone number and every other detail about my life? And why can none of the worlds most attractive men not get this info and engineer it towards getting themselves a wife? Also, I have received enough of those mock credit cards in the mail to build a house and fill it with all the crap I could charge thanks to being pre-approved, yet again... Come Lord Jesus if my Mother didn't teach me not to have credit cards because Gap and Anthropology are real places and she has my success as key goal before her death.  

To the single girls of the world.  Hang with me.  We've got this covered.  I understand you forgot last months rent and are out of town and I got your back when you stay in for the 59millionth weekend in a row because Netflix just updated. I heard you on that "I'm having popcorn and ice cream for dinner".... I see the Mommas walking around with husbands and that's fantastic, but these are our glory days.  Sleeping in, hardly showering and disowning "irresponsibility" because sometimes this life is too much.  

Keep on respectfully rejecting all the normal people of this world who have got it all together and are tying to tell you how to "get your life together and grow up".  Sometimes we just need to learn for ourselves and that is going to mean at times appearing "totally incapable" of succeeding in life.  You are doing just fine my sister and one day will be that normal, totally responsible person too. Until then... as the words of Jen Hatmaker  "I turned instantly Pentecostal, waving my praise flags and I’m pretty sure I spoke in tongues" says it best... I got my flag waving at you when you tackle that DMV filled with Harley biker men or actually get to church on time because this life can be hard and I'm celebrating you even trying to navigate adulthood. [[Also, how is it that the public bus can get to each stop DAILY never being late and I struggle getting to church once a week in a timely manor. Mysteries.]]  

We are not lazy, dumb or out of control, we are just growing at our own pace and there is nothing wrong with that.