Each of us sat in a little confusion on how our eyes have seen, our feet have walked the African dirt roads and our tummies have digested the poverty- yet, we sit still in mostly comfort at the table in the Marriott hotel.
What happened to us. We fly home and make these long journal entries of endless promises on how we will give up coffee or spend less money-- yet, it happens and then we fade back into our normal life.
Even more so, the 3 of us sat and processed how our hearts go back just like our visa card is swiped more and more as the days go by. The strings tied to our heart and the lessons we learned are cut slowly but cut. It seems inevitable. In many ways it is a curse of sin and living in a world of brokenness and materialism.
After some time my sweet friend said "We just have insurance for everything." There. It was the simplest explanation to what doesn't make sense. I don't know that it ever will make sense how we just return to what was before after such drastic extremes. It was like in one moment everything suddenly made the most sense it could in my 22 year old mind.
Car, teeth, jewelry, home and EVERYTHING in it, macbook, retainers, iphone, entire health from head to toe for anything that could break or go wrong, bank account, credit cards, booked flights.....
In some ways I have insurance for my insurances.
I've done this to myself. I've set my life up in a way that makes me depend on Jesus for little to nothing apart from when the insurance for the insurances flop. My life in so little ways in America is set up on a dependance of Jesus like it is in Africa- depending on Him for needs so simple as the next meal, a place to sleep, safe water to drink and so on.....
It's ugly. In some ways my insurance for my insurances are the sole affection of my heart rather than for the king who saved my soul.
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