I was always told marriage won't fix your problems. We are talking sat down again and again by women older than me saying something about how marriage didn't help their issues of insecurity, faith or living. Maybe this was just a tactic to prepare for the commitment that marriage is, debunk any beliefs that the Hollywood movies portray about how sweet marriage is or whatever, but I am back, to say screw all of that. While I love every dear person young and old that like broken record told of marriage not fixing anything, I think it's time someone told the single girls all the ways marriage will fix you.
*All things considered we are like less than 365 days into marriage.
1. Marriage fixed my issues trusting anyone.
Before getting married to Mr. DK there was a whole roller-coaster of events that one day I will write about (so help me God) and from it all, I trusted no one. NO ONE. Not the guy pouring my coffee because he probably would be a jerk and give my decaf, the people I worked with, etc. When your heart goes through a cheese shredder, you wouldn't either. All trust is gone.
We are talking I went on dates and would ask men what the worst thing they ever did was just to see how big of a lie they'd likely tell or avoid. I avoided people at all cost because they'd likely break trust too and make your life a disaster. I didn't go on 2nd dates because what's the point, they'll break your trust and break your heart. #NoThanksSucker
After meeting Mr. DK things changed. Honestly, I don't have another way to explain it except by God's grace alone from the day we met, I just trusted him. No other explanation available. My heart just felt safe with him.
2. Marriage fixed my faith and it's translation into reality.
It's really hard to be a Christian, can we just say that and not judge? Sure before marriage I had a faith and belief in the gospel, hosted a community group in my living room and served when you needed it. But when you're married it's different - it's not a solo faith. There's you and him on this journey together. It's a lot easier to be a Christian with someone else, probably why Jesus says "its not good for man to be alone" LIKE DUH. There's someone else to read you truth when you don't give a crap about anything or anyone. There's someone else to tell you "we have to be bigger than that" when the world is unfair.
I've met a lot of women who have said you have to idolize Jesus more than your husband (truth, I don't disagree with you on that)... but I think all along that truth and broken record message was missing the entire point. Hear me out.
I'm still sorting this one out. I don't want Mr. DK to be my savior, he would really suck at it. But I don't think that the "don't idolize your husband" banner hanging over every girls church conference really got it right either.
3. Marriage fixed my bank account.
I work under my own LLC and the food on my table has always come from contract work with clients. Risky eh? Ya. But it's not like you can't make it work. After getting married, there's 2 incomes. It makes saving and traveling much more attainable.
Marriage also makes me responsible and keep to a budget. There's no more buying all of the Gap spring collection and eating cereal for weeks to make up for it. You have someone else to be accountable to. This fixed a lot of my issues. For myself, I'd wreck a budget and not care... but to face Mr. DK and have wrecked the budget, no way. I hate letting him down because he's always too nice about it. No way, I hate it too much when he's so nice like that. It's like reverse psychology and he knows it works.
4. Marriage fixed my belief that I'd be stuck with terrible in-laws.
Despite my prior experiences, I have the most loving, caring and normal in-laws on planet earth. I got your back women of the world who say all the hail Marys and beg for peace when your in-laws come in town. I have got your back with your in-laws who don't talk to you and obviously don't like you or want you to be around and think you're the evil one who is wrecking their childs life... I've got your back when your totally a nice girl and there's actually no freaking reason on planet earth to not be BFF with you, but they just are whack and don't see that.
Just 2 weeks ago my father in law stayed for a week, cleaned our whole house, fed & walked the dog and is NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL. I would trust my mother in law to not feed my child sugar and shit. I would leave my kids with them and not worry about their existence. I would show up at their front door and stay with them by myself and not feel weird or not welcome. Say your hallelujahs with me cause these people you get forever, and luckily, I got good in-laws. Ones that are just like another set of parents who actually talk to you, make gluten-soy-nut-quino free dinners for and are more than bare levels of respectful with you, but actually include you. #ShockerImNotEvil
5. Marriage fixed my lack of and hatred of making new friends in new cities.
Plain that simple, it's easier to make friends when you are married. There's always your BFF with you to keep things from going way awkward and to help tell you it's really not you when dinners go weird and you think something is obviously wrong with you and you're never going to make friends.
6. Marriage fixed my relationship with my parents and gave me independence.
After said roller-coaster my parents were basically the lifeline of my existence. Where they went, I went. You guys, sometimes I would just go sit at their work so I didn't have to be without them (GOD BLESS THEIR BOSS). We are talking like an infant who did not leave their side, went to dinner with them on their anniversary and so on. The day I moved out of their house again, I remember setting a countdown on my phone until the days I would be done with my lease and could move back in with them.
Thank the God above my parents showed up and hosted a neighborhood BBQ for my street so I could try and meet some friends. All jokes aside, I met a BFF at that BBQ my Dad held, because sometimes you need your Dad to make friends.
When the world is bad to you, parents seem so safe - no shame if you've cried yourself to sleep in their bed before too. #HOLDME I really needed to get married so they would experience some freedom from their 20's something child and get back to their empty-nesters life.
No comments:
Post a Comment