Dear Beth,

So there you stood telling 6,800 women about how life brings breaches.  You stood stretching your arms out wide as to create a gap or space- the breach; you just went on despite my need for you to stop right there and move on to a different topic because quiet frankly, I've grown extremely tired of listening over and over to how not repairing a breach is living sin.  It’s just a little too “up in my grill” for as of lately.  It’s far too “you don’t even know my details so please don’t tell me what Jesus wants me to do”…..  

And point after point we went on… 

Trust is restored when breaches are pulled back together - I get it, but my breach can’t be pulled back together, not in this state of existence anyway... I get a bunch of church women got to get on up out of their seat and repent for whatever crisis broke out this week, I got you girl.  Point made and point taken. Repair that breach or else you're choosing to live in sin. 

Onward….. yet, I’m still over here with the biggest gap, we’re talking the Grand Canyon ain’t got nothing on my kind of breach.…. We're working with a I can’t even tap one toe over that line which might seem as a step towards repairing a breach.

You gather the people around who love Jesus and myself dearest and they'll tell you this isn't one of those "go repair" situations (and let's not confuse repairing a breach with forgiveness).  They'll assure you that grace found me and Jesus has proved more than faithful in my fuzzy details. They'll ask you to join them in begging a holy God to come and restore the holes in my heart.  They'll tell you it's not right or fair. They know how it's actually painful for my eyeballs to watch 6,800 women sit and not go immediately to pull back together their own gaps, because my fuzzy details are wishing I could.

And just when I was about to count you out, move on and realize that for the other 6,799 in the room, those words pouring out of your mouth was for them (and myself too in other sorts of ways)… But this, this one ragged sentence came out of your mouth so softly. I mean nothing but a bare whisper.  Under your breath to the point that I don’t really even think you know it came out of your mouth, frankly an after thought or like a moment of washing your own self in this truth, like you too weren't really sure if the other 6,799 women need to hear it because it's for the 1 in 6,800 situations. It's the truth I so deeply needed someone to verbalize for alone, my fuzzy details. 

“It’s ok to not repair a breach sometimes too because an allegiance was torn, you trust God and do not go back to your sin, He will mend that breach…" 

Sometimes you don't need to restore the breach. 

Sometimes Jesus just wants us to trust him to repair the breach.
The breach within my soul, not externally is what He wants.
To pull the Grand Canyon of my heart back together, when it seems impossible.
But he is able.
  

Jesus, He just wants us to trust him when the breach shouldn't be repaired.