Still processing

I remember sitting in La Chureca, the city dump of Managua, Nicaragua. It is the largest open- air garbage dumb in Central America, covering 7km2 in the north-western corner of Managua. La Chureca has been around for approximately 40 years, and it was named one of the "20 horrors of the Modern World." Approximately 1000 persons, of whom 50% are children under 18, work at La Chureca- sorting through waste. Of these people, there are more or less 115-180 families that live in La Chureca.

I sat there in a feeding center, in the middle of the dump slightly elevated on a hill where several hundred children are fed one meal daily. The contents of what are supposed to be rice, meat, and squash but were really warmed, water-ish mush. In bright multi-colored bowls each child sat on the floor or in a plastic chair and were supposed to eat their one meal for the day. There I sat and looked around children's hair which should be black, was blond from mal-nutrient. So my mission was feeding, ensuring they ate.

However, I quickly learned, each children does not know how to eat. The normality that we each experience every few hours was foreign to each one around me. I did not understand. Dogs roamed around which looked and sounded like hyenas. Huge bird hoovered over my head, squawking loudly, looking for something to consume.

I sat with these two boys pictured below and attempted through broken Spanish to convince them to eat, eat, eat. As I continued, sitting there in question, doubt, disbelief, etc. the boy (on the right) began to vomit up the food I was feeding him- right back into his bowl. I grew silent and just sat there. Moments later his, what I would assume brother (on the left) grabbed the bowl the first boy vomited in, and began to eat the vomit. He was starving, and understood this was his one meal for the day, or possibly week. could I really blame Him??

I remember La Chureca. I remember you two boys. I remember the tears I cried questioning where your mother was to hold you, offer you water to clean the vomit out of your mouth. I want to know who takes care of you? Has anyone ever shown you how to brush your teeth? Who encourages you to do well in school? How do you get new clothes? Has your hair ever been cut? Do you know all your siblings?

Questions. Questions. and still no answers.